December 19, 2006 at 2:51 am · Filed under Copacetic
I had forgotten that I changed the layout of this page. I think I might change it back now after seeing it again. Ugh.
It’s 3 a.m. and I’m still up because I promised I’d paint more around the living room. I’m ready for this room to be done. It’s really disheartening to realize that no matter how much you try, it will still not look that good. It will certainly be what car guys call a ‘ten footer’, but to me that’s not enough. I want it to look awesome. But I have my limits, and certainly Veronica won’t let me play around forever trying to perfect it, so I must get it done.
My file server hiccuped around 1:10 a.m. for some reason. All the Samba shares went offline (but were still there). It appears that the computer somehow lost 2 hours of time. It’s time I recycled some hardware around here. I need to get on my new file server project ‘real soon now’ before this thing pukes on me. Why I thought that an old overclocked BP6 would be the bestest best thing to have as a file server, I’ll never know.
-Jeremy
December 8, 2006 at 12:36 am · Filed under Detonation
I had one of those moments in my life today: one of those moments where you could chose to rise above all of those around you and assert yourself. Someone who was truly an expert in their field; a leader in their discipline; someone who ‘got it’; someone who was truly intelligent because they could explain a complex subject in simple terms.
I had that chance today. The Navy was in town for our review. The question came up about something that is one of my personal favorite subjects in cryptography, public key crypto. They asked about key fill, something that I really want to be considered an expert for around the department. I had an oppurtunity today that comes just once in a while to impress not only my boss but my boss’ boss (and the f*cking Navy reps). And yet I passed on it to more senior people who waffled the subject until it got passed over.
What a fool I am. I had my chance to become ‘that guy’ who they direct people to when they want real answers. As my old boss said, “That’s when you know you’ve arrived, when you see the messages on your telephone.” To compound this, several issues came to light after that which were directly my fault. I felt pretty down about the whole day.
Thank God that Veronica was there to make me feel happy again. I don’t know what I’d do without her most days. This has been quite a harsh week for work. I worry sometimes that I’m sacrificing too much of my young life for this work, when all it does is bring me stress and worry. Perhaps this is why I’m turning gray in one spot, although I tend to blame that on her.
At any rate, next week we have a minibreak and I think it will do us some good. I could use a break from this for a while.
